The drive home was took forever and proved to be rather treacherous because of all the snow. Rear wheel drive doesn't do shit, people who make cars! Take note. We finally made it up the driveway and into the house, where I proceeded to flop around and whine about being so hungry and tired. I love having a good excuse to do those things, and my journey to Dorridge was just about the most watertight excuse I have ever had.
We bundled up and walked into town for some Indian food. It was terrible. We walked home. It was freezing. God, could this day get any worse? Let me answer that question with a definitive YES.
The front door wouldn't open. The lock just wouldn't budge. Jeff doesn't even have the key to that door (Lee, the handyman, who is doing our floors, has it) so we come to the conclusion that we must have locked it with the wrong key. Don't even ask me how that is possible. Our keys are ridiculous charming so maybe that's why.
Anyway, the other door is locked from the inside with a kind of weird round key that isn't accessible from the outside. It is 8pm, still freezing obviously, and there is no way we can get in. We to decided to spend the night in the spare room in Jeff's dad's apartment (recently vacated by a fellow coworker who was crashing there until he found his own apartment). We were driving there when I realized, in horror, OMG THE SHEETS ARE GOING TO BE DIRTY. I probably should have kept that to myself. Other thoughts I did well to keep to myself included: OMG no face wash! no lotion! no clean underwear! no toothbrush! That is pretty much the definition of a bad night in my book.
Anyway, the other door is locked from the inside with a kind of weird round key that isn't accessible from the outside. It is 8pm, still freezing obviously, and there is no way we can get in. We to decided to spend the night in the spare room in Jeff's dad's apartment (recently vacated by a fellow coworker who was crashing there until he found his own apartment). We were driving there when I realized, in horror, OMG THE SHEETS ARE GOING TO BE DIRTY. I probably should have kept that to myself. Other thoughts I did well to keep to myself included: OMG no face wash! no lotion! no clean underwear! no toothbrush! That is pretty much the definition of a bad night in my book.
On Monday morning, Jeff and I met Lee the handyman at the house, confident that the actual key would open the door. Um yeah, it didn't. As Lee would say in his British accent "you're joooking" (say it out loud to get the full effect). According to him, the brass mechanism of locks like ours sometimes seizes up when it gets really cold. Being a very handy handyman, Lee pulled out some sort of heat gun (the sort of thing you would use to emboss stamps... though I doubt he does) and we attempted to heat up the lock. No luck.
We soon realized that our only hope would be to somehow get into the house and undo the lock on the other door. The glass in the windows and doors is very thick and according to Lee "a brick would bounce off it". We trust him in these matters. He then suggested that we kick in one of the lower door panels so I could shimmy in and unlock the door. Jeff and I stood back while Lee attempted to put a steel-toed boot through the door several times. The whole house shook, but the door didn't budge. I suggested that we use a saw to cut it out (to which Lee responded "clever girl" - I swear I felt like Hermione Granger for a second). To get the saw started we first had to drill a hole in the door. Grrreeaaat. So Lee drilled.... and drilled and drilled. Turns out our doors are thick! It would take all day to saw a hole big enough for me to fit through.
Option #2: Approximate the location of the inside lock, drill a hole in the outside until we reach the lock, tap the key out, and use a screwdriver to turn the lock back. Lee, you crazayyy!! But do go ahead. More drilling while Jeff and I cringe. There is NO WAY this is going to work. By this point, I'm sure the nosy elderly neighbors are peering over the fence wondering what the hell we are doing.
Ok Lee, I never should have doubted you. It worked!
Lee: Maybe I should add 'locksmith' to my resume
Jeff: More like 'burglar'
